[sral]

"Pages Of My Mynd"


Some days I just unwind whenever on my own
to the pages of my mind and the memories they hold.
Some are sketchy, others bold, but presiding there intact
- a collection of the moments that define me as a man.
I'm reminded of my past and how far that I've come
as it's finally apparent now I've fathered a son.
I started with nothing but an apprenticeship to a job
and worked hard to accomplish everything that I'd got.
It was a godsend, providing me with money to burn
which I would squander without the slightest look of concern.
But what I earned meant nothing the deeper I delved
not with the drugs I was permanently feeding myself.
I needed some help, but couldn't see how stubborn I'd grown
me being me I just felt I had it under control.
I took out a loan to try and settle my debts
but with the money I owed, there was never much left.
I kept the pretence up, but I was living a lie
always ever inventive with what I did to get by.
This was my life, but one I kept a secret from friends
and it's a side of me I never want to meet with again.
It's easy descending into the back of beyond
with no reason to end the destructive path that you're on.
I haven't forgotten that, and it's easy to see
but that was so long ago I can't even believe it was me.
I needed a reason to work on it now
and to keep on believing I'd turn it around.
My girl was still down, though I thought she would dash
and I worship the ground that she walks on for that.
Despite all that has happened she's stood at my side
when she's been called into action, how lucky am I?
Looking at life now, you'd never even guess that was me,
trust me I'm trying to pay her back and be the best I can be.
Whenever I feel the compulsion arise
- I remember that fearful look in her eyes.
The drugs are behind me, but it took a moment to see
that I should be providing for those closest to me.
I know that it seems like an obvious statement
but it's only when clean you can promise these changes.
I'm honestly taking more positive steps
now we've got us the baby to acknowledge instead.
All I want is the best for the two of them both
- to be someone they depend on in a more dutiful role.
I'm resuming control over the mistakes of my past
by choosing to focus on what makes me a man.
I've changed who I am, now I've a strategy in place
for making it happen despite whatever's standing in my way.
I'm happy just so say that I've been finally given
a new chapter in the pages of my mind to be written...



real shit.