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Old 03-06-2016, 02:23 PM   #6
Just Write
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Quote:
Translucent, mirrored images have stopped you from seeing that your actions,
Have too many consequences when you're reeling in the masses.
Start believing in tragic reasons and start feeling out your traction.
If you're spinning tires in life, you'll be less admired, breathing in fractions.
timeless, i really likes this piece and felt you hit the topic perfectly (although i also felt the first few lines seemed like you were doing too much) the above, along with the lines pinot quoted were my favorite from you. i also digged the Daniel and the lions den reference. clever


Maximus,
i think this is the first thing ive read from you (i havent been around for awhile) but i actually enjoyed this piece for the most part, i mean rhyming rock with rocks was just lazy and the following 2 lines were no better. also i feel as if you dragged on a bit before letting on that it was lessons being passed onto a son, by the time that was revealed the piece was over


mvgt = timeless, i feel his piece was a bit more polished and complete. enjoyed both the reads nonetheless
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