asylum,
i really liked where you went with this in the first half, very smooth read and the imagery was spectacular up until the warriors casket line, it took me a few times to get the meaning behind the abstact-ness you brought into the piece after that. i would have more preferred you continued with the descriptive sunset-eske love story than imo go towards a darker im guessing political piece? idk, correct me if im wrong.. thats whats wrong with writing abstract imo, sometimes it leaves the reader confused. i might just be blind to it but after reading it a few times i still dont completely understand its meaning.
franklin,
you're like tyhe eminem of text lmao, nah but seriously you definitely know how to write a story.
what i liked about this piece was it had a great story and was just filled with all kinds of very descriptiveness, i.e. the part where he got down on his knees and the bandages, the canes description ect. also the handle that leaks part was smooth too, all in all a story about getting back what you put in.. nice
this was a really good battle, at first read i had asylum taking this but i couldn't fully connect with the piece because i couldn't fully understand it. Frank, i really enjoyed your piece and thought you had a great story and your imagery was on point, for this mvgt = frank
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