[Mr. J]

Timeless, I felt that your verse was on point for your topic.
it had its shining moments but that intro just felt forced to me.
I dont know if its the idea of lifes tools or what, but it just threw me off
I did enjoy bits & pieces of your verse though, the exodus line brought it back
which is good because it followed that first portion
beginning/timid felt like a stretch for me & tomorrow/sorrow felt easy to use
but you still kept me glued to the topic. nice work here...

Maximus, I feel like this may be the first time I read any of your work.
after looking through your credentials I am more than sure this is true
I was enjoying it up until I reached (vet) I am unsure if you meant veterinarian or what..
after continuing on it starts to make sense a bit more but then you use rock/rocks...
that made me feel like taking a minute to understand why you would take an easy route on that line
after that we reach seems to be/extremities (ex trem eh tees) you see what Im getting at here
I enjoy your take on the topic but it seems quite ambiguous as well....nice work though

v/Timeless, I feel as though timeless may have edged this one out with a more concise piece
he lacked in some areas but the topic was on point for the most part, I did enjoy Maximus verse though
although after reading his verse again I feel like he may have shot himself in the foot halfway through the verse
regardless this is a good warm up session for the whole league, fitting a story into 16 lines is difficult for almost anyone but you 2 seemed to handle yourselves well....nice work fellas