Lol, at the reason for editing.
One wrote on a more lighthearted note (MMLP) and Just write wrote his inspired by the grimness of the world.
Justwrite: You initiated this with a personal connotation, suggesting the narrator's remorseful state which is a technique to provoke the reader into a sympathy of sorts, implying a connection to the character as you unraveling feelings of a universal nature shared by all humans. I think because you immediately displayed your intention in the first two lines that this strategy backfired and there was no connection made. It is almost like the character started weeping early on before any other indication of catharsis, which was a little offputting. But, lateron you did achieve this objective of resonating with the reader into an emotional connection established by universal sentiment among sentient, such as: "So much pain has been experienced, its really hard to shock me. Probably why I keep most at a distance to my torturous existence". The implication of death being your true friend was I found the thematic conclusion. But i found the notion lacking in creativity, not because its not true, I believe it is. But because instead of exploring death in all its attributes you chose the more typical attributes we associate with it.
MMLP: A straight forward story on love, lost, and gain. Your writing is also more poignant than your counterpart. And due to its straight forward nature the lines and rhymes are very quick paced, which makes for an easy and enjoyable read. That said as I analyze this I did not exactly understand why he thanked his former wife (Emma), the cause of his recent misery. Perhaps because of her contribution to him becoming who he is and his fondness for his wife being his best friend, as well as his divorce leading to a newfound love, or rekindling of an old flame. Also I didn't get why friend was put into an acronym at the end. My final thoughts is that though you wrote more poignantly, the concept itself was a bit too amatory without provoking any profound insight into the nature of love, and what's more, the lighthearted nature of the piece didn't justify itself in the end, so as to carry the concept.
Vote: Justwrite
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