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Old 03-05-2016, 12:49 PM   #4
Just Write
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2trip.. still after all these years I still think you and delicious girl are the greatest troll/aliases around.


That being said, there was actually some sparks of beauty in here ...
I.e. Funny really how we only got aminute to prey and a second to die
My manor was disturbed and may that be a lesson to life


Also appreciated the humor here Always went head first and my duty was to pleasure
Sitting around ignorant like why ain't my legs work


As well as the previous bar, still I don't think it was quite coherent enough for me to get into, especially when only granted 16 lines. Also a few spelling errors bugged me. Overall this was a decent drop, just think IF YOU REALLY WANTES TOO, you could have done better.


GodComplex,


All hail stan!

No but really, this was good.. I don't think I've read from you before... unless you are an alias too? I don't know I've been gone for awhile, either way I really enjoyed this.
Some stand outs for me were

Despite these uncivil things, his name was etched in history,
You know the thing we use to calculate our brethren’s misery


That was noice,


Talk about paternal issues… Sapiens need somebody in charge of their godly decisions
Or we fall deeply ill, into a metaphorical sickness. You’re our portal of wisdom.
Our lord Zeppelin is an advanced organism that brings order to systems.


This whole ending made me smile as well, I even had to grab my dictionary once which is rare (just because I don't write in "fancy words" does not mean I don't know any :p) you remind me of a mix between vividly vague (idk why) and vulgar (da gawd) and I mean the best parts of them, being plot line and vocab, definitely looking forward to more reads from you... both of you.


Good match guys, this one I'm goes to GodComplex this week
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