Thread: movin bars
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Old 05-09-2013, 08:44 PM   #10
Split
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 8,898
Battle Record: 27-22



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SUP breh.

Quote:
and these fools sayin that they pitch tho
switchblade bitchmade niggas, let that 5th blow
5th grade pimp, mac eleven smoother than crisco
cuz the weight that they movin got me askin if they even lift bro
ether

u aware m8?

remember reading your stuff from Otvba or whatever the site was... glad to have you here dude. smooth n swagged stuff, the OM was really missing that feeling of gritty haha.

your rhymes are good and your concepts are really subtle/ clever, like you dont draw too much attention to them but theyre cool when you catch it. Id say one part of your writing that could use some tuning is the execution/ delivery, like in
Quote:
knowin they pretenders
cloning of off bender
so im killin these contenders agenda -who say-
"im not nice, like gettin coal on the 25th of december"
i dont think that rolled quite as easily as it could have.. maybe this was keyed in which case s'all good, just saying that as you elevate/ keep writing its good to take note of parts of ur shit that didnt quite work so you can keep refining

good stuff man, you show alotta promise. dont bring that faggot Fairy here

keep keyin
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