After the first line that newer stains line just made me cringe...
I enjoy how you wrap the rhyme around into the next line & continue going though
some of the wording could be bulked up a bit though, when you said as if it kind of made me want to stop
& mention that it felt out of context to use...I dont know it just feels weird to me
but you develop an interesting story & use a decent rhyme scheme to keep my attention long enough to finish.
taste demise seems like weird wording as well as rich enough to pay the fine
I know you want to keep the multi use going as long as possible but there are times when you just gotta step away from it
regardless you paint a decent picture & have a formidable vocab, a little more work & I may applaud your presence
keep it up
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