Hey buddy I thought this was cute...not up to par with that cute video you dropped in your other battle but cute..
I see you toyed with the verse you had written for Writers Week which was....a couple months back?
Pretty interesting stuff.
the rhyming was sub par to previous works. I feel had you toyed with the 'Person' angle you may have stood a chance
this was easily read and not as rewarding as your other pieces where the internal rhyming shines...
I feel after you picked it up after that weird intro you started to shine.
But after getting to endured/pure I feel like you started losing steam...
how long did this take to write? I mean that conversation doesn't even seem natural...especially for an android.
who programs a robot to say 'alas'....seriously...
id give you a 6/10
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you
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