Netcees - View Single Post - Allen Knight Vs Fracture

Pinot Grij · 02-11-2016, 04:49 PM

Fracture.
Opener too complicated.
Paper line is ok, but bark is a stretch to get to a line about paper manufacturing.
I don't get piru line.
Thot line is tight.
Heimlich is decent but the rhyme is awkward.
Closer is fire. Subtle but hard.

AK
I guess Anthony is Bags's name?
Cainster was a weird read, needed a couple looks.
Gothic line is fire.
Yule Log woulda been better around Christmas but still funny.
Sister Abigail line is fire.
Lieutenant line is funny.

In a battle of 2 lines I liked vs 2 lines plus some decent ones, I gotta go with AK. Fracture had a couple misses that I couldn't overlook.

Vote -- Allen Knight

02-11-2016, 04:49 PM	#9
Pinot Grij Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 863 Battle Record: 23-19 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night 2 - Write Week V - Netcees Battle League (2x) - Winter Topical II - 1-2 Punch league Rep Power: 29195064	Fracture. Opener too complicated. Paper line is ok, but bark is a stretch to get to a line about paper manufacturing. I don't get piru line. Thot line is tight. Heimlich is decent but the rhyme is awkward. Closer is fire. Subtle but hard. AK I guess Anthony is Bags's name? Cainster was a weird read, needed a couple looks. Gothic line is fire. Yule Log woulda been better around Christmas but still funny. Sister Abigail line is fire. Lieutenant line is funny. In a battle of 2 lines I liked vs 2 lines plus some decent ones, I gotta go with AK. Fracture had a couple misses that I couldn't overlook. Vote -- Allen Knight __________________ Topical C.R.E.A.M.