grij:
rhyme schemes/flow on point as usual, though a little sing-songy and repetitive in some spots. i'll start with the story before the "twist" - a murder mystery is an interesting take on things, though the ridiculousness of some of the phrasing/concepts was extremely distracting. i know you're a polarizing figure in these tournaments because of this style of yours, but i have appreciated it when you've been "on". in this case, i'd prefer something a little more grounded, especially with it being juxtaposed against your (now expected) absurdist ending. speaking of, it got a chuckle @ the closer, but was crossed the border into wacky for the sake of wacky for me. you usually have a better tie in than what you did here, summarizing the motives as all things the bern would be in favor of (as per hillary), so it didn't land nearly as well as the ultimate warrior did in the prior round. enjoyable verse and wicked flow nonetheless. it did tie into the topic in an unusual fashion as per your legacy, so you also have that going for you.
pie:
i think you meant for your nostrils to be scarred, not scared ;). agree w/ cimm on where i thought you were going with this and the end result. i think the concept was extremely clever but executed very poorly. there wasn't much cohesiveness as it got towards the middle and became random sitcom name dropping. i get what you were trying to do in critiquing the tv-induced zombie escapism effect. unfortunately, it was clumsily handled and some of the word choice/rhymes were a bit bizarre. the piece was a bit all over the place.
v/ pinot
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