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Old 02-05-2016, 12:19 AM   #3
Pharaohs Army
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Battle Record: 6 - 14



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some good quickhitting rhymes which flowed cool. Conveyed the theme pretty well. Scratches were cool and added to the track.
i'm a connoisseur of rhyme-bending or slant rhymes whatever u call'um, so in audio i love things like:
(sick & tired of) relyin' on drugs / buy 'em in bulk
and
gotta keep Control like a man-or Fold like a chump/i'm a problem nobody wants

Thought this line was great:
i mean maybe it's my fault, maybe it's not. maybe it's 2pac\biggie's fault, maybe it's God's.

My knock on this would be the "strike like cobras at lunch", at end of first verse.
Get that line the hell out of there if you're re-working things.
It is just my personal opinion, but I feel very strongly about it.
Even in a brag-swag verse I think that line would be corny a.f., but Especially in this kinda track. It just does not fit in with the rest of your verse.
You could probably in 2 seconds find a better "replacement ending phrase" on that 1st verse & instantly improve the verse.

On the whole- good job, but those are my thoughts on the cobra line.
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