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Old 02-03-2016, 09:36 PM   #7
Mr. J
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Razah, I really enjoyed the progression you've showed your style compliments the smoothness of rhymes you incorporate
I really enjoyed this piece as a whole, it isn't often that you see people get deep in their written
& this had a very emotional vibe that I could relate to, it was short but sweet as well.
although you really capture a meaningful read I always feel let down by the shortness.
...thats what she said...regardless you had an impressive drop and I applaud you young padawan

Diode, Ive witnessed you put in some amazing work & I am quite impressed by you as well
I would not expect such an impressive run from an old work horse like you but you handled yourself quite well.
I enjoyed that first section but that little red section kind of threw me off and I had to go back again to get the full jist
either way you carry on with some impressive vocab choices and add some great visuals to your piece
ignorant in our bliss/diligent as we kiss, that was niiice, I really like how you linked everything together.
that tapestry line felt odd to me though. regardless this was a really nice piece.

v/I feel that this all comes down to preference, I enjoyed both pieces from beginning to end
although there were certain points I felt deprived of the ideas that were being portrayed but I caught on
taking another look back I feel that as flawless as Razahs verse was I feel Diode left me with more to stomach
I really enjoyed the descriptiveness of his verse & thought the read was more worthwhile not saying Razah did bad or anything...
I just felt Diode won me over upon another read both had flawed moments but due to razahs length of a verse it just did not fulfill what Diode has...


v/diode
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