[Objective]

Originally Posted by Frank

Had a blast writing that piece. Loved your analogy.

What's my strongest piece?

I can tell you had a lot of fun with it which also turned to be your Achilles heel. The Storyline is okay but the characters didn't seem to have any real motives for doing what they did, being too invested with ideas and concepts can turn into a bad omen if you forget about the other details in the process as well.

Personally this might be your favorite piece of mine, and one of the reasons I look forward to reading your battles/pieces: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=6035 In this one you gave the characters life, development and motives while keeping a consistent storyline with rich imagery and wordplay.
Conceptually this might be my fav of yours: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=4249 You did the repetitive style really well which is hard as fuck to pull off along with sparking some emotions and critical thoughts of my own when I read it. Never ended up voting on it though, don't know why I didn't but I remember reading the battle.