Cimm -- let me get this out of the way -- i hate the ending...it felt cheap. Ok. I love moments in time. Flash in the pan moment after moment (ironic or paradox, you decide). Your wording is exceptional. Each thought is layered with literary devices that dont hinder the narration. Probably my favorite verse this week (though to be fair its also the fourth ive read so far, but stylistically its hard to beat for me).
Witty -- interesting take. I thought, at first, you were internally trying to sculpt the beginning of a relationship. I quickly understood i was incorrect, and was interested in seeing how you woukd tie it all in; i was a bit dissapointed. The ending was rushed/forced in my opinion. Some very good body content, but overall a weaker structure.
Vote cimm
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Originally Posted by RichardCorey
I can't beat this Pent. I'll admit, on my best day, I couldn't beat this Pent.
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Last edited by Pent uP; 01-22-2016 at 10:58 AM.
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