Cimm:
Effortless rhyming. You have a knack for this. The piece seemed more than a little inspired by Birdman but with a Wall Street twist. A lot of people will take solace in an imaginary banker killing himself if only for the schadenfreude of it all. In some ways, I wish you'd expanded more on this character, but in others, I am completely satisfied with the brevity. Great work. You're going to be an interesting match for some of our more visual/creative competitors.
Witty
I'm not going to lie.. I hated your opener. Not sure what you were trying to do here but it came off as a first-time writer attempting to play around with rhyme schemes without having the technical know-how to put it together in eloquent fashion. The stereotypical nature of the prologue doesn't help either. Rah rah, everything's bad, someone did me wrong, now let me tell you my plot of revenge/origin story/etc.
Anyway... you did the whole Asimov thing with the story. It was much better written than the opener but it's so fucking cliche. I know you were a bit hamstrung by the topic, but compared to Cimm, this really bothered me. "Humans are evil and ruin everything created in their image" has been done to death, especially in the topical arena. I did like your visualization of the various parts that made the whole and your allegories to other stories (oh, sweet rhyme, self!). The ending was a nice bow on the whole package though it did lack profundity. We create in our image, which is bad, and only hope the mirror helps us see the error of our ways before it's too late? Is that what you were going for?
The bizarre opener and well-worn story detracted from your writing in a major way. It needed something more captivating, perhaps. Better imagery? More technical rhyme schemes? It just wasn't enough for me.
Can we still be friends?
VOTE: Cimm
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