Pinot, this was an impressive showing but I am not going to watch your video
if there is one thing I dont do its watching any extras added to fulfill the story's set up
I believe that as the writer you should be capable of adding it into the story or just leaving it out
other than that I feel like a majority of your verse is very well done, although you do have one set up I didnt quite enjoy which was the every test/stay erect section
maybe you did that on purpose and decided to showcase the idea in your rhymes orrr....
maybe you just wanted to keep the idea going. regardless that felt off to me...
I like how you continue on in a different style and bring in the flow more rapidly
that was a nice switch up right there. very impressive verse though nice way to build around a character.
Soul, Im saddened that you didnt take more opportunity to write a longer piece
I really enjoy the use of raw rhyme as well as the skillful use of your multis..quite dope
regardless I thought that your piece came together in a very finely written soiree of words
you use some interesting ideas and I really liked the way you chose to use the idea of kin folk
that was a nice touch, I kind of didn't want to stop reading but unfortunately you ended your piece
therefore my grudge is with your use of time, I hope to read more of your work in the future...
v/I was looking forward to this battle due to the names in it and the topic at hand
I felt like this would have been great if Soul had taken the time to write more in his piece
unfortunately Pinot had out-written his opponent and also came with an impressive story
although Soul did have some nice ideas shelled out it wasnt enough to outwit Pinot here
really impressive work from the both of you though.
v/Pinot
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