HAHAHA first verse is hilarious. I especially enjoyed the voodoo chant part and the naming of characters, this piece and your Robber piece from the Alias solidify you as eminent storyteller in the league imo. Your style reminds me sort of like a clash between Dickens with the character names and narrative and Fitzgerald's one short story about hillbillies where the tone was similarly humorous. Some areas could've transitioned better but all in all I think it's like 97% complete. Dope storyline, somewhat abrupt ending, nice fantasy ride.
Soulstice DEEP AS SHIT...flow and multies bonkers, liked the rhythm to it.
Thanking compatriots who went from strangers to kin folk
As it rains out the window - we sensed their adventurous past-times
Would carry on - as long as the centuries passed by.
^^^ Perfect wording and pithy quips like this are the reason I love topical writing. Dope execution here and way to add to the mythical atmosphere.
The lines afterword continue the atmosphere of profundity laced with the wisdom of Athena's arrows. I interpreted it as an evocative entry into the mind of a genius, passively recalling with a sort of submissive dread his unfulfilled potential and lack of execution in life. Nietzschean a little, staring into the void.
This was a stylistic and content clash of epic proportions and I would say it easily won BOTW this week. It's tough to call because I like both verses equally and for different reasons. Vincent Smith had to drink another man's piss and that was utterly suspect and completely homosexual beyond measure. The ending to Pinot's was rather abrupt, yet soulstice's verse felt like more of a coherent whole to me. 20 lines vs 48 though. I think I'm gonna have to give it to pinot based on his execution, although I would've probably voted for soulstice if he wrote 30 lines or more. 20's just too short and you could've added some great descriptors and set some sort of delving into the past/him continuing to dispassionately observe but delve into his current surroundings as opposed to his past. Would give a greater panorama of his psyche as a whole and add that oomph necessary for victory. Even if you didn't do that I might've voted for you had you gone a bit longer but it was pretty close despite soulstice's length (pause).
V/ pinot
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