[UnbornBuddha]

Cimmerian has this very smooth style and his verses are very quick to read due to their brevity. So, it was a story of suicide as I interpreted it. A man who dedicated his life to business and money and so when the market crash his passion and love collapsed along with it, so he decided to take his life. There was no remorse for how he lived his life, he even waved goodbye to a twenty humorously. I will say though I didn't really find anything really meaningful. Not that all reads have to be soaked in profundity and delve the reader into the mystery of life, death, or the universe. But, I do like verses that give a glimpse of something less superficial. While, the materialistic aspect is important to convey, there was no underlying reason behind it all. The character's motive wasn't really sketched out enough for me. Some great descriptions though I will say. Not as beautiful as your last week's verse. I did detect a sense of freedom in this verse, liberation, i.g. by the usage of flying, bird, ocean, etc. The rhyming was also quite simple, which isn't a bad thing, but I do like a little bit more rhyming. If not, it better make up through other means, which it invariably did.

Witty: The first short stanza is not at the caliber I expect from you. Albeit, it still had rhythm to it, it did not give me those images that I expect from you. Now, in your second stanza you fleshed eveything out more. There were also some spelling errors, puss= pus. And I assume its pus since the previous word is cyst. But, I don't really care about that to be honest. A few spelling errors here and there and not that important to me, sometimes they are though. There were other instances that did leave the reader hanging, incomplete thoughts," infinity is bust.... Each man provided a tender, caring, hand that guided", guided whom? Humanity? Ultimately, your premise is that vanity and ego were motivating forces that compelled us to create and go forward. But, then you juxtapose that idea further by stating how it will recreate you, at the end. Which is an interesting premise, that I'm pondering, perhaps vanity of man is what creates the goodness so it can remold one to be a better species, but not a better person. Also, I couldn't figure out who was the narrator exactly, who was us. It didn't seem to be Man because someone else looking at them, those who raised them through thick and thin. Hmmm, while your rhyming was better than Cimmerian, it also didn't feel at par to what I expect from you.
I could say more, but let me decide already.

This is a hard vote for me. Mostly because there were factors that I disliked from both, and liked from both. Cimmerian had the more elegant verse, while Witty had the more thoughtful verse, the wittier verse. And its not like Cim surpassed Witty by much in execution either. Albeit, Cim was more precise with crisper wording, I still felt Witty still had the more interesting premise for me.

Vote: I'm going to go for Witty here.