[Objective]

Innovator - Short and sweet, I wasn't left with the great impression I usually get from your pieces. This wasn't bad at all, it was decent but I know you can do sooooo much better. I'm saying this to motivate you since it seemed kind of bland in comparison to earlier work I've read from you where I've been left in awe at the technical aspects as well as message.

However, it was still short and sweet as I said and I enjoyed the imagery and what you did with the topic at hand. The intro-sentence to the piece caught my attention and thought it was a great opener. Going with a generic AB-rhymescheme and a break from it with ''I stood among the waves swimming along the sands'', I think you could have done a pretty cool addition to the rhymescheme here if you had continued with a ABC ABD ABE ABF and rhymed couplets with a break in between to keep a consistent structure and adding some more difficulty to the poem at hand and scoring points at the technical aspects as well. In regards of this I felt the last stanza was a bit sporadic as well.

The imagery was great though and overall it was decent the way you handled the topic with lots of potential if you for example had added certain minor improvements that would have had a great significant impact of the overall atmosphere and feel to the poem as a complete standalone piece.

grafx - Pretty dope story you got going here and truly follows the topic well and gives it depth, there were quite a few things I stumbled upon either way though. The first stanza is a little bit confusing to me in the sense that you both used first and third perspective storytelling, who is ''I''? Is it the author/you, her brother, a doctor? Could be nice with some clarification with these sentences, ask yourself this when you're writing a poem like this: ''Who is ''I'' and the other characters? ''Should I go for first perspective throughout, or third perspective as well? When is it right to use both, and does it add to the overall feel to switch it up or not? How old are they? (I'm mainly thinking about ''As she was driving away, her daddy yelled!'' Who's driving away, the daughter? 10 years from 17 she's 10 years old and not old enough to drive yet, or was it her grandmother? I don't know.) You also don't clarify throughout the piece who the ''me''-person is, that's your biggest obstacle and confusion imo.

Beside of that the poem alone is decent and it is pretty straight forward, the last line creates a closure but I don't completely understand of what you mean by ''taking advantage of those alive'', how? Through learning from them, or to get as much before they die or learn from the transformations that happen to them and live on?
Being straight forward can be a double edged sword however, as being straight to the point gives a clearer message and what's happening to the characters but simultaneously also don't create a lot of emotion until the last stanza. I basically didn't really get to care for them as everything seemed like a generic story with potential for improvement on these aspects.

Vote - Innovator. Kind of close imo as I enjoyed the structuring to grafx's better as it was consistent throughout but overall I felt Innovator had a more complete piece with depth and imagery as grafx's piece left me with more questions surrounding the events that occur in although I got the message to edge it in his favor.