[Objective]

2tripple0 - I know I'm nazi on this kind of shit but your poem would really get a lot better with punctuation, specially thinking about the last line in your first stanza. ''I rip threw this in minutes I wrote new beginnings'', the ''I'' is a capital letter which means that it could both be the start of a sentence or continued on an existing one making me having to read the last line twice to be sure it was meant as two sentences and not one, the rhythm is also helped dramatically with punctuation whereas in regular text in rap-style is helped a lot by rhyme alone and certain poetry does this as well, even more so in poems that uses a known set form of the structure. Nursery rhymes alone unfortunately won't help much either if they're this distant to each other.

The rhythm of the piece switches up quite a bit too, an ongoing theme in terms of structure could have helped this as well. Freeform is freeform but it's also the laziest so imo you need to guide the reader a bit with any tool you have at hand unless you're going for some concepts in terms of writing which I didn't pick up on with this one. It could also need some better structure of the sentences as well making them easier to understand, mainly thinking about ''dragon find flesh not to beg'', I don't truly get what you're actually getting at although the following lines sort of helps it. Make the sentences clearer along with improvements on punctuation and you'll create a much better reading experience along with a better piece overall due to it feeling more ''complete''.

It wasn't all negative though, you had some great lines here and there like the ''Moment spans this rave explosive stance''-sentence. One of the sentences that really caught my attention was this: ''Better learn the weapon first message like a descendant of colours'', really descriptive imagery and I absolutely loved it, best in your piece imho. That was beautiful, if you had managed to keep the poem this consistent overall it would have been a solid piece imo.

Slecht - Short and sweet. Thought the last stanza was your weakest of the four as it felt a bit sporadic in terms of sentence building tbh, it worked well in stanza 3 line 4, a bit longer than the rest of the sentences but it created a natural and pretty sweet end to it before heading into the last stanza.

Overall I thought it was decent. Simple in a straight to the point but not really kind of way. Against a stronger opponent you'll lose with this but I think it was a great effort either way. Good showing.

Vote - Slecht.