BE - Rhyme scheme was a little rusty. Morbid tkae on the topic and I like how it was cyclical in a way. The wheels in the bus go round and round.. story was structured well and imagery was cool. kind of reached me in a the only thing that snaps us out of the ordinary is tragedy way.
2triple0 - this reminds me of a guy on pr who used to post insanely long rhythes and they were just rambling. it was kind of hilarious. does anyone remember his name?
in all seriousness, punctuate I guess
v/ be
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Originally Posted by asylum
? subtly? what the fuck is a subtly? i dont know what that is. can someone help me out?
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