Slecht – not a lot wrong with the content but the piece is too short, although the ending line is dope. It does read more like a poem than a topical im afraid.
GC – solid writing here, except for little bits of rhyming that could have been ironed out. ‘torch turned numb’ ‘abode of phantoms’ etc for example seem forced, but maybe its my accent.
The piece was descriptively great (as usual with you). I did wonder how on earth this correlates to the picture at one point but it comes together well at the end.
Felt really sad reading “flipping through an old photo album . And realizing your family has grown apart,” so well done for that. Good piece
v/ GC
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