[Pent uP]

Argh -- queen of characterization. - (dr.) dog, probably. Sorry, odd reference. Seriously though very strong characterization...i had found a few spots where wording was an issue, but then i came up to the ending and it was delightful. Absolutely nailed it (the ending). Take on the topic was loose but it worked, word choice was tough at times but better at others. I think i rememver you saying you write the endings first? If so that makes sense here. Anyway. Solid

2trip -- i think ive said this to you before, and if i havent then here it is: punctuate. Even if you do it incorrectly - i bet your verse will be easier to read. This was a bit over the place. I thought it was weird how your topic had music stuff in it, your verse however had a trail of food related thoughts and flips. Overall very scatterbrained approach.

Vote argh