Thread: First Language
View Single Post
Old 12-29-2015, 02:08 PM   #6
Cimmerian
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 142




Rep Power: 2933499
Cimmerian has a brilliant futureCimmerian has a brilliant futureCimmerian has a brilliant futureCimmerian has a brilliant futureCimmerian has a brilliant futureCimmerian has a brilliant futureCimmerian has a brilliant futureCimmerian has a brilliant futureCimmerian has a brilliant futureCimmerian has a brilliant futureCimmerian has a brilliant future
Default

A good effort. I felt that the wordplay often seemed forced and at times, nonsensical. The rhyme scheme could be improved with some variation.


Keep doing.

Cimm.
Cimmerian is offline   Reply With Quote