Spoilers everywhere.
Kylo Ren is not at all tapped into his powers. He is trying to feed his energy through the Dark Side but lacks both proper training and proper connection. That — plus his injury — is why they allowed Finn to hang with him. He really is a lot like J.P., not only in terms of how he looks. He's a wanna-be posing as something much more. He is decidedly not Darth Vader.
Rey is almost certainly the daughter of Luke Skywalker, the more I think about it. And there is a good chance she is aware of it to some degree but unwilling to discuss it because her mother's death/disappearance scarred her emotionally. That makes her likely far more Force-sensitive than Ben and possibly very quick to understand her power.
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