asylum i really enjoyed this verse man. while reading it all i could think about is how colorful it came across. your imagery was extremely effective, you told a neat story, and yeah.. like all your reference just screamed out different colors to me. your depiction of the tree in the beginning section was nifty, having the girl being disguised as an old lady was creative, just a strong overall showing. well done
mr j, i could be way off on this but my interpretation was that this was about someone learning how to dream lucidly? thats what makes sense to me. i was kinda thinking that at the halfway point but the sleep paralysis/self reflection reinforced it for me. largest gripe with this piece was in your opening bar, 'succumb to leaps' was forced as fuck. aside from that it was written nicely, was well executed, but unfortunately it didn't have as much of an overall effect as your opponent here.
two enjoyable verses but vote goes to he who put more time and effort into his verse
+1 asylum
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