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Old 11-20-2015, 08:11 PM   #6
Mr. J
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Asylum, Im a make my votes short this week but I have a lot to discuss about this verse
I feel like the opening 5 or 8 lines were kind of a let down on opening for this topic...
the characters all seem to fit but the way you play out the story just seems too farfetched to me
especially when the dialogue starts to roll in a bit more, Im just like whaaaaaat...
dont get me wrong this was a strong piece but I feel like in a world like today you could have had a better piece
I would have chosen like a graffiti art type idea with the ending being like some spray can exploding in the back seat & poof....
cant knock your hustle though. the verse was cool & the execution was nice enough to make me praise you at certain points

Copy, I thought your verse was smooth at first but midway through you started to stumble
maybe you wrote yourself into a corner, its not up to par with a majority of your lines but it was still a cool read
I felt if you went all out you would have been up in votes here, asylum took a cool route as well...
either way nice job..




v/this is kind of tough due to the amount of lines presented from both competitors
I thought asylum had a decent idea but some lines were a tad too out of place for me
the concept seemed like an easy approach with that being said Copy came with about half the lines asylum did.
idk its all preference here for me. I liked asylums piece but would have preferred an original approach
Copy went with a more down to earth piece compared to his previous work which is different, but it works
the end of his piece didnt match the strength of the beginning and that saddens me :*(




v/asylum
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