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Old 11-20-2015, 04:54 PM   #7
Razah
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For the record, I thought this topic sucked.

MMLP, pretty good verse. I wouldn't say the flow was 'butter' because there were times you switched up the rhyme words from a 4 syllable multi to 3 syllable multi, what made it flow better was the rhyme scheme you kept. That made it read really smoothly. I can't really see how the verse relates to the picture though. But, the same goes for YDK. *shrugs* Solid verse though.

YDK
Quote:
Pick and choose your side till they've divided us all
And we're left behind as reminders that you're the blindest of all.
The kindest; appalled!
That you could erase the writings of the signs on the walls
And leave us here with nothing but a line as a pulse.
History repeats, a pantomime that's ignored,
An apparition of sorts when social tradition aborts
The very values that they've valued till they're devalued by force.
That right there, was butter to me. I really enjoyed your verse. Once again, I don't really see how this related to the topic, but whatever. I enjoyed your verse more though. It just read better to me, and although the rhyming was simpler in your verse compared to MMLP's, I feel like the wording you chose came off more 'elegant' for lack of a better word. So, that's why you get my vote.

vYDK
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