~The Field of Contestants: The Game Genie Edition~
Donis getting his nerd on right chea.
**Disclaimer** There are a few bios of people not in the playoffs because I been working on this mag since before I knew the field, and since I wrote it I'm posting it cotdamnit.
~The Long Shots~
CopyPat: Skate or Die
Before Tony Hawk or Skate, this game came out and revolutionized what turned out to be a storied line of Skating franchises for many consoles. This game was the shit. Much like you Pat, super fun for as long as you played it, shit got hard too. Pat, you have penned some of the more memorable verses to date, but this is not why this game reminds me of you. This game at the time was groundbreaking, something out of left field and unexpected, but that first time you played you were hooked. You write to your own drum and can easily beat any writer at any time. You are in the long shots list though because I don't think you can drop 4 consecutive mind blowing concepts where you execute flawlessly.
2tripple0: Metroid
2K, you are a conundrum, truly. Half the time I have no idea where you are going, but I want to get there with you. Metroid was confusing as shit pre-internet and I would get lost and stuck on simple shit, wondering what I missed. Pretty sure that is all I need to say right? No, I won't give you a slight chance at winning the thing but I actually enjoy your writing, and I feel I'm not the only one, I just wish you can find that balance, soon my friend, soon.
~The Drak Horses~
Ullr: Metal Gear
Metal Gear was a ruggid game back in the day, the first of it's kind, and with it, the birth of solid snake. Ullr, you have penned some very interesting pieces, the one about Indians against GC comes to mind for starters. Then, you also have dropped some lackluster short keys that still stood there own, but won't be praised anytime soon. Metal Gear actually had a pretty big map for it's era, and I think this encapsulates you well. You can actually write a verse if given the time which should get you past round one depending on who you face. I think you have a real shot at this, but you'll have to beat the elite, which I don't think you have yet.
Asylum: Tetris
I think you have rounded them edges as highleted in the past four week where you dropped two poetical reads and a story and a think piece. You have become a chameleon, dropping knowledge in a verse or playing it fun and letting you words play poetically. Tetris is something you may get bored of, but will always be fun, no matter what. Tetris is a game of planning ahead, and I think you have that going for as you have the ability to tailor a verse to a competitor, something few can do.
~Up and Comers~
The Law: Mega Man
Mega Man was a game of bosses. The levels themselves were easy sledding for the most part, but once you got deep into the bosses, you really had to try. You came in swinging, writing some really, really good verses even if they got no-showed. You lost a bit of steam last week barely sliding by, but still, facing a boss you are. As I'm writing this I don't know if you will make the playoffs because Nigma hasn't posted, but if you win I will re-write this thing using Mike Tyson's Punch Out.
~One Year Out~
Timeless: Baseball Stars
Baseball Stars was a dope game though, you remember when you moved a defender left the entire team would move, WTF at that, still kills me to this day. Anyways Timeless, you have competed well all season but that doesn't mean you haven't dropped less then stellar from time to time. You have been one of the most consistent of the season and a staple in the AOWL for a few seasons now. I don't know if this is your time, though it could very easily be. You have the skill to beat elite talent, but I'm not sure about doing it multiple weeks back to back, which will be required in the post-season. We'll see, thanks for being a competitor and voter consistently, this moves the league above all else. Side note, I would have picked a basketball game for you but they all sucked back then, Bird vs. Jordan was cool but I never could get them dunks down.
Rakontur: Ninja Gaiden
Ninja Gaiden was a game I enjoyed for about a hour each time before walking away. That game was fun as fuck for me, but kind of hard in reality. Rak, you have dropped some very good verses, but mostly you have keyed short topical/concept art that gets the win when you are matched in length. Much like Razah, the short key styles will get you eliminated, but I think you do poses the skill to make a deepish push.
MMLP: Rad Racer – LMAO @3-D action
Rad Racer is still one of the ultimate arcade games, shit has stood the test of time in all honesty. The problem with rad racer is it was kind of a one trick pony. I mean, you are racing a car, the tracks change, but it's the same shit. While I don't think this part of the game represents you, I do think you are suited for writing shorter verses because the only long and drawn out verse I can think of that you penned was not a success. The champ match. I think you can make a deep push, but as Rad Racer, you may get more recognition as time passes.
~So You're Saying There's A Shot~
Razah: Excite Bike
A fast paced read that you can zoom through while enjoying for a hours. Razah, you're a relative new-comer to the AOWL and hope you stick around, although even this year you were MIA around mid-way through. Excite Bike was a very short game, much like your verses, but they are highly entertaining while they last. I highly doubt the short verses will get you the crown here, but again, it will be fun for a bit.
YDK: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
For me, I think YDK can produce any kind of verse. He is as well rounded as they come. Meaning he can write a simple story or dive deep into a mind fuck, but he can also write a true topical utilizing metaphor galore a la his championship run ending at certain defeat, see what I did there? Ninja turtles is a game you just don't get tired of, either way, you'll eventually succumb to its wide array of map and lose your lives.
NYCSPITZ: Blades Of Steel
Obviously I picked this for one reason above all, but actually as I'm writing this something else came to light and fit perfectly. Blades of Steel was a very fun game, still is to this day. But what made it fun was the fighting, haha, ties into this week just fine, right you ass clown? I have said many things about you and how you are one of my favorite writers of all time, the problem is I can not recall a single verse this season where you were in form. I hope you get into gear, make post season and silence the doubters.
VividlyVague: Duck Hunt
You will never be bored with this one. Reading your tales and there distinct, stand alone style are a joy. From true topical to a concept piece you simply have a knack for writing in the sense of writing good novels. However, you do primarily stick to what you've mastered while in a crunch, kind of like your crutch. Telling stories in first person. While every story is different, much like duck hunt, you just don't get tired of shooting that fucking dead dog, and I'm glad you found your way home champ.
~The Favorites~
Nigma: Super Mario Bros.
I'm not sure what else I could have given you beside maybe Mike Tyson's Punch Out, maybe that is most fitting but meh. Super Mario is the original game in my mind, but beyond that, it was also the most entertaining of them all. You competed at the highest of levels since you joined back in 6 or whatever it was. Two time Champ with multiple title defenses.
Godcomplex: Zelda – The Gold Edition
Zelda, when this shit came out pre-internet it was impossible to beat. The vastness of it's actual game field was intense, the different options and routes were overwhelming, the difficulty was too much to bare for me forsure. But most of all, it was always a welcome challenge that next to nobody could beat. Buddha, you've been a force all season, shocked you weren't crowned this season, but there is only one crown that matters, and your still in it.
Mr. J: Contra
Contra was my favorite game growing up until Super Mario 3. Mr. J, you have penned some of the most consistent verses over the life span of AOWL but you are your own worst enemy. Up, Down, Up, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start. 99 Lives right there. Contra was the most fun game for me easily, kind of like my go-to. When all else failed, Mr. J had something for that ass (no bromo). By the way, Build your own map was the shit and still is.
~Finally: The Best For Last~
Adonis: Tecmo Super Bowl
Greatest game of all time, this is not up for debate. Playing as the Raiders with Marcus Allen and Bo Jackson in the same backfield or as the Eagles with one of the best QB's in NFL history, a real life personal friend of mine cause he dated mom in high school, Mr. Randall Cunningham. Adonis, you may very well be the best human being living now, and possibly ever, in history. You're welcome world. The trick is hitting the console on the top first, then blowing into the console opening, then blowing into the cartridge, then pushing it in and out of the console at least 4 times, works like a charm. Yall don't know.
Lars: Duck Tales
Lars saved the season. I can't lie, I was about finished with it, and just as Dr. Dog grew tired so did I in the early season. I went out of town and Lars offered to step in, I came back and shit was running smoother then ever. Not gonna lie, he lit a fire under my arse, I wanted to be a part of something bigger again, and thanks to Lars I remembered that. Lars is the man, not much else to say. Happy 40th you un-American prick.
~Round One Predictions~
(5-2) MMLP vs. (4-4) YDK
I think I can say potential BOTW for all of the battles, but this one I might be most excited for because of the similar styles. MMLP has actually been elevating as the season progresses while YDK has been on his same old same old run of masterful verses sprinkled in with a lackluster drop every other verse or so. He's more inconsistant then MMLP and more polished when he is trying. So YDK has the higher ceiling but he also has the far lower floor. It all depends on the motivation, and although YDK is the lower seed, this really could fall either way.
YDK 51%
(6-2) Rakontur vs. (3-9) Timeless
This is probably the battle I least look forward too. It's not that neither of you can't write your asses off respectfully, it's just that I think the other match ups will be a slightly more fun to read. Rak has been quietly consistent to be honest, I don't remember many verses of his, but I do remember a couple so that's saying something. Time on the other hand has been dropping verses every single week, but more often then not are a short 20 lines or so where he trims all of the fat off and delivers precision. So Rak could essentially steal this with a long verse, but at the same time, Rak's longest verse was what? Under 24 lines or so I guess. So stylistically these two posses similar traits making this a close call. I think this will be decided by more then a few voters stating “its a preference thing”, and in the end
Rak 52%
(5-4) Asylum vs. (4-1) CopyPat
This shit will be the most fun to read right here. Asylum has picked up his pen game considerably over the past few weeks or so while Pat hasn't really evolved, but then again, who wants him to? He doesn't really have a schtick or gimmick, but the way he writes is his alone. From his flips on the topic to the way he stretches syllables thin, dude can compete with the best of them. However, I think Asylum is more polished and is vastly more motivated here, it seems like he really wants to have a deep push. So with that said, I think sy can edge it out with a fleshed out verse that is about 34 lines long or so compared to Pat's usual 16 lines of awesomeness.
Asylum 55%
(5-1) VividlyVague vs. (4-4) Ullr
Battle of the minds here. I can't even recall the last verse Ullr wrote in the AOWL but I do know he's stayed frosty, competing in at least Vulgar's Poetry league, but most likely competing in more then just that. Dude is a machine and can write some classic saga's. Come to think of it, I don't think he has a single style. I think U can has a wide array of execution tactics and mechanics and concepts for that matter that, like a Swiss army knife of AOWL. Vivid is on some other shit though. If he had signed in and competed in a few more weeks he would have been a champ or at least reached 1-2 title matches no question. His shorter verses are prone to drop votes because his style is weaving a story, so if it's a short one he lacks build up, but if given the time he's winning against anyone in this tournament at there best, maybe no always, but he will stand his own and not be flawlessed.
Vivid 65%