[IamBenT]

really vivid and poetic, you are fusing and grafting images to each other, and playfully "breaking" language to fit the big picture, every thing is concrete but at times ethereal like you don't really want us to come all the way in, and really making us work to earn it, your allusions are pretty great and this is just a first feed, may go do some digging and come back. I liked the second to last stanza the most, the water metaphor was expertly constructed and shared there.