View Single Post
Old 11-13-2015, 03:43 AM   #8
timeless
past tense
 
timeless's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,623
Battle Record: 22-39



Rep Power: 4341329
timeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant future
Default

Law, you had a lot of spelling errors. Words and commas that didn't belong all over the place. Almost didn't finish reading tbh. The ending would've been good if not written poorly. Did u key this? Gotta edit your work, especially for a champ match bruh. Your multis were basic. Flow was decent etc. Keep the pen moving.

Nigma, I feel like you could've wrote about anyone or anything and just throw the ending bar or two on there. I feel you copped out at the end. Not a bad read. You remind me of a less refined Frank. I feel as though quite a few bars have forced rhymes, which made for a bit of confusion throughout. Not one of your better pieces tbh but you still did enough for the win.

V. Nigma
timeless is offline