[Mr. J]

MMLP, I enjoyed the way you flowed in this verse..everything blended together nicely
I felt like the beginning of the verse wasnt as smooth as the rest was but it picks up near the middle
I thought the transitioning in the first few lines just felt kind of odd, I felt if you stuck with your starting scheme and worked the transition in later it would have read a bit smoother to me but otherwise I like the rest of the piece
your plot started off nicely and the ending fitted with the idea from your topic
kind of a weird ending how it was worded but still a nice read,.

Rakontur,Your piece is more refined for the most part, I thought it was cool but that intro was too weird
your vocab came pretty strong though and I felt it made the piece a lot more smoother than MMLPs
I felt like the plot of your story went with the topic pretty well. there isnt too much to complain about here though
that intro though...


v/Rakontur...
in the end I felt he came with a stronger entry as apposed to MMLPs piece
it was pretty close had that minor slip up hadnt been at the start of the verse
otherwise I thought this was a cool battle, nice work fellas