[sral]

oh shit I remember that time I was dirtperson broke and bought some of that cheap nasty sandpaper toilet roll shit

during the inevitable wipe/wet tissue my middle finger broke through the papers surface and slid directly up my own asshole

my asshole pretty much clamped shut in horror, it hurt like a bitch too

I don't know if it was the shock or the sudden blind panic of adrenaline kicking in but I came a little down the side of my leg before wiping up with the shitty tissue and flushing that bitch away fast as I could never to speak on the matter again