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Old 11-06-2015, 06:46 AM   #10
Mike Wrecka
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,591
Battle Record: 29-25


Champed
- Writing Challenge League I

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Cool battle. Apologies for the quick vote. On my phone


Chyeah - u had a decent verse here. Good multis but what hurt you was a lack of metaphors IMO. Nothing really jumped out at me like wow that's a sick concept. The flow was there but it all felt rather pedestrian


Manhattan- I agree that ur length gave u a huge advantage. Because to be honest I wasn't feeling the first quarter of ur verse. I'm not a fan of "tion" rhymes and schemes involving them. It's too easy. And while u did ur best in that section it still came off as elementary to an extent. Once u moved past that , the verse moved into the realm of excellent. Especially liked the katana line. But really the whole thing after the initial stumble was quotable. And it exuded energy. With interesting concepts. Good work


Vote- hattan
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