Exis- I think you accomplished some sort of crazy here. I almost harshly criticized your writing until I went back to the topic and realized you were spot on. In this case you were great, crafting a realm of unstable humor, chaos and reasoning with your structure and jumpy rhyme schemes. It felt like something Joker would write if he were to write in this league. Cool piece.
Tripple- i can't really say I like this piece, but I can see a certain growth since the last time I read you. There was an organization and structure to most of your rhyming set up. The content wasn't very enthralling or radical enough to be parallel to the topic, but there was a solid thought process here that I liked. I think focusing on a steady train of thought is a fundamental first step in building a memorable piece, and that is exactly what I struggled with for the longest. The rest comes with more practice and focus and confidence in not relying on thoroughly dated and corny metaphors. That was wordy of me. Anyway, I dug the effort bro. Good job.
Both guys clearly had a distinctly different take on this topic. One chose the frantic train of thought versus the more common man approach to the world surrounding him. Of these stood out far more than the other. MVGT Exis for the overall better read.
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Ahem.
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