Godcomplex – this is an epic piece bro. really, truly sick. Definitely enjoyed it, you’re a great storyteller. Second stanza was a little flowery for me, not enough action, I think describing the emotion of it was an interesting approach tho, so.. well, kudos anyways. I guess I’m a sicko and wanted something more gruesome from death scene. Your third stanza flowed very well. You have a knack for utilizing line breaks in your pieces, recently many have tried and failed. You nailed it here. This bar was strong.
Yet, in such a pathetic state, only meant for pain;
He was still able to summon the realm of faith,
Great intro to your final stanza. Really great mood setter. Flow worked well and your mechanics signaled the piece coming to a close. Another mark of a skilled author. Thanks for the read this week bro. I really enjoyed this piece. I think you use simile as a crutch and it takes away from your content sometimes, but other than that I have no constructive criticism. I really did enjoy this piece. Thank you.
Mr. J – I called this with my prediction! Haha. I am fucking madame cleo in this bitch. Hope you pull yourself up and dust your shoulders off for the playoffs bruv. Looking forward to you in your true form. Favorite lines..
The door creaks open & a smile shines among the darkness
a sudden paralysis overpowers the body...The artist
is most known for their ability to form something from nothing
I really enjoyed that little morsel of insight. Thanks for allowing me to give Buddha some feedback. Even with a noshow verse you still flossed with some great mechanics and a bone thrown to your fellow authors. Kudos.
+1 GC
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