asylum- LOL. Larping. Really? I had no idea though, which is the best part. Your rhyming was unorthodox and inconsistent. I think if you made it more of a constant style, it would come off easier on the reader's eye. The story was cool. I was hungry for more fantastic details. This was cool to see inside a colorful imagination like yours. I hope you tap into weird shit like this more often. Good Job.
law- I'm not sure who the voice is, but I like how you went about this piece. The rhyming wording and structure was solid if not better than that, and your finish didn't seem forced for the sake of the topic (as it would usually come off). I must say, you pulled this off pretty with some lines kept me engaged. Dope.
I like both of these pieces. I think content was abundant in both drops and effort in angle was apparent. The difference came down to smaller aspects such as schemes and flow, in which one writer shined more here IMO. MVGT Law for the overall better verse.
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Ahem.
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