[Frank]

The giant monster represents man made destruction brought upon civilization by our own doing. The back pedaling line and the swimming in silence line were great comic book caption linrd and I would of liked to see more of that, in addition to the the story line... which also could of been fleshed out more. What it is? It was a cool verse. Like I say it could of been more epic. Know what I mean? What I noticed though is your flow improving by leaps and bounds. Really making strides with your schemes. Sill occasionally hit em with the notre dom style but it's more refined now like the hunchback drinking a nice aged wine rocking a suit. The transition is okay but I feel you need to develop more of that rugged rhyme scheme where it's not so refined because thats where you can set yourself apart. It's like Bam Bam hitting you over the head with a club! You know what I'm saying? It's real dinosaur cave man - me want jane shit. I think it's cool to change and conform but you need to focus on mastering your style. You've written action verses , love verses; equally entertaining. My favorite verse thus far has been the iron man verse; really highlighted what I'm talking about.

This was a saga like star treck - I saw the bald ablino dude with the maroon turtleneck and he was speaking doing the V thing with his fingers. This verse jumped around and distracted me but it also made me key in - consciously to what was bolded - how it was italic'd - the paragraphs - how they correlated. It gave this story an interesting depth to it and offered a few different viewpoints on your outlook. The flow was of caliber - more so than not. I thought it was a sci-fi thriller kinda and I enjoyed it for it's geeky dark comic book innuendo style of writing.

This is a split decision.


On behalf of myself; Split will choose whom my vote goes to.

Goodluck close battle

edited: was told to decide

vote - Objective
.