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JESODIST: good to see that you are actually writing some verses around these parts
sadly you could have been one step closer to rising in the league if you actually showed last week
but enough of that...this was a slick short verse, good job at keeping it short as well...
I thought your verse started out nice, this seemed to work better for you as far as topics go
a bit towards the end though it seemed like you worked in a weird scheme with the chickens & other lines
otherwise I felt that you had some decent ideas that work together with the overall concept
perhaps we will meet in the playoffs and I will make it worth the challenge for you.
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timeless: Sometimes I feel like you are lost among your own ideas & have trouble translating your thoughts
this time around you had a decent amount of focus on your behalf, which shows but due to the length of your piece theres a lot missing.
Its cool watching you progress further in the league & sometimes pull an upset over peoples eyes though.
I liked the general plot of your story but then towards the end I feel like it was a waste.
I felt like you could have shelled it out more to make the read enjoyable as we progress.
But for adding a decent amount of life to the piece i shall applaud you...
v/JESODIST I feel like he came ready to win this match this time around
his story was more prepared and he brought the full potential of his topic
timeless had a lackluster effort but he still brought a reasonable presentation
either way this was a cute battle...nice work girls