[Adonis]

Zee - IDK man, the flow in beginning was tits...meaning really fucking good, but the entire verse was extremely long and winded. I think there was plenty that could have been left out and maybe you could have expanded on the ending. I mean, in the end you simply just fucked a wife, kissed her then killed her, in as many words as this. A few emotions or thoughts from either wife or husband would have made a huge difference. Then there is the matter of the orgy, IDK. I don't mind, and actually like the attention to "physical" detail, but again, it seemed unecessary to take up 1/3rd of a verse for a sex scene that didn't really have much to do with the verse other then that's a reason you saw the luggage. I just feel like you focused on the wrong thing with your verse, you went visual which is cool, just wrong time. You left a lot out because of the sex scene, and this verse could have shined with emotional details from a plethora of characters, which on a side note was a bit mind wrenching on keeping up with 4 main characters anyways. All in all, a decent verse.


Vulgar - I loved the wording in the entire verse, this made the flow in my opinion. I will say I see no huge connection with the topic, I get you went Jack and Jill on the hill but that was merely thrown in near the ending. I feel like you let your mind run free, then tied the topic in later. Which is fine, but just cheapened the chosen topic for me, like why even have them picked for us, Naddimean? Anyways, I also have a issue with the use of "gonorrhea" as well as the vixen seeming experienced in riding the Cock, since they are virgins right? Then again you are talking about a word out prostitute, which to me, is translated to some company or owner of the company, whoring out themselves for profit...IDK?


Vote - I so want to vote for ZeeDee because I don't want to lose my first place in division, but in my humble opinion, Vulgar had the better verse. but it was closer then I probably made it out to be, I just liked the concept piece over the story this week.