Trap:
The positive here is it is mechanically sound and on point. Solid schemes and it definitely had style to it. Alot of people(imo) have trouble with giving there writing character and you did that here, props. The negative here is it is on the basic side vocabulary wise. I mean not every drop has to be filled with big words, but as a personal challenge...when youve already mastered certain words its appropriate and will help you elevate when you up your vocabulary.
Just a suggestion...do you though. Nice verse.
(And btw i also tend to use basic words and would probably take that advice myself)
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