Quick vote:
MMLP at first glance his verse seems very simplistic, yes it has multi's and flow but that itself does not negate the simplistic facets found in it. I myself like complex things, decoding them, but nonetheless his simplicity here worked. A no bells and whistles kind of verse, if I'm using that axiom correctly.
Vividly: The structuring itself needs work this time around, it just read overdrawn. You had good imagery and you have a tendency toward storytelling and depicting and rendering visual details down to the bone, however, this verse read too scattered in my opinion. Perhaps, not so much in plot, but more so in the delivery of the product. It almost seems you were trying something new out, which I encourage experimentation, but perhaps not in the contender match.
Vote: MMLP
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