MMLP - Flow and the readability of this verse was great. Had a nice rhythm to it. This was a real solid verse. I loved the approach you took, original, unique, and one that anybody probably would not have taken. You did a great job concealing who/what your character was while subtly throwing in little hints throughout your lines, which gradually got better and better. Ex, from the separated at birth and put in with the masses, to the purchase and walking through the tunnel.. etc all the way to the more obvious race on command and the seeing the vet at the end. Honestly it was very well done. Maybe some polish and rewording of the lines could have perfected. But it's a very hard verse to beat when the readers start to really understand what's going on and how well you hid it.
VV - I felt this started off real slow and you spent too much time telling us the background of everything. The best part of the verse was the end when it started to pick up a bit. Rhyming wise was a bit simple, and because the lines were lengthy and without internals it hindered the flow and the smooth read of it. However, I thought throughout the wordy bars you did have some nice imagery laid out. ex. "Black leather and cloth garments hid as if timid and gentle." overall decent verse, this one just didn't have a good progression to the story/approach you took and some rewording to fix the flow could've been used.
MVGT: MMLP - just an outstanding verse in my eyes. It wasn't the most awe dropping in the technical aspect of schemes, imagery, but the way it was done was nice. The progression and the way he wrote in the eyes of his character with the ability to conceal from us until we realized it and went back and was able to understand each of the lines was done very well. Would have been a hard verse to beat for anything imo. Great job.
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