Eth- well starting off your mechanics are fucking solid. Great line..
Behind every smiling face lies war and corruption
This bar.. crux of the verse, eloquently spoken. Flow’s on point too.
Perhaps the only reason he works, is cause he’s felt depression
Making pictures and sculptures out of self-expression
Wasn’t expecting the twists direction but knew something was coming soon. You did a good job of hammering home the fact your character is God. Not sure if you made the ink blue because that’s the color of our blood before it turns to oxygen but that’s how I interpreted it and I like it. If you would have replaced consumption with assumption in the fifth line I would have liked it more. Flow worked well with mechanics. Your opening and closing moods were set impeccably by diction. Sick piece man
Godcomplex – AH, I get it now. I still want to know if the dude jumped or not.. but the “ants at a distance” was a great opener. Definitely nailed the twist home. I thought you were talking about some kind of serial killer or something gruesome. But this was pretty good. I really liked this, but it felt off a little.
And the rest of the manic screaming frantic women.
I’ll like to be remembered in a romantic image
Perhaps be held as a tantric symbol,
I see tantric and frantic working but “symbol” kinda threw me off. Not really voting on it but that could have used some polish. But I really liked this ..
Tsk, I’m here to show you life’s true secret, its pain;
So you'll fathom why my work was equal to greats
I enjoyed that immensely. Twisted as fuck. Pretty cool. Also liked the turn of phrase, “brilliant deduction.” Like yeah fuck off and die, good job. Lol. One of the strongest points of this verse , for me, was the tongue in cheek attitude. Kind of like you were letting your audience in on your little secret, right before he made the leap. As fucked up as it sounds, I hope your character made an impressive ink blot. He was all about it.
MGVT – this is a hard one for me. But I’m going to have to give the nod to ETH. It read smooth, rhymed better, and had a stronger twist. if godcomplex had given a detailed description with a bit of humor about the plunge to the pavement, I would have voted for him. It was that close.
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