Ullr - You defined that picture perfectly. This was a really enjoyable write. I also liked the versatile word injections you had here, i.e. Faberge, stalwart, statuettes, and fluoresce. It's not a favorable attitude towards big words which I'm highlighting here. These are words with long histories, offering a gush of culture and an olden feel to them; antiques, in a way. The fact that they were used in a straightforward storytelling piece about an OCD shopkeeper at an almost magical trinket emporium, was charming. Good instincts for language and diction. I would say, at times, your tone of voice does slip into a mode where it seems just regular - followed by intervals where the content ups its own ante and it flows much better in certain spots. You aren't a hot and cold writer, not what I'm getting at, but there are moments where the surface can be chunky.
"dusty, musk scented, she slides with the platter
and places it atop stalwart desk, she smiles with some laughter"
For example, in these two lines, a "platter" is introduced. I didn't think the rhyme scheme was as sharp or pertinent as in other sections, IMO. All in all though, a nice read.
Rakontur - This reminded me of a bashful stanza one would find in a Christmas card for rebellious children, or, written by a rebellious child. There were clever instances in it, conveying a holiday warmth that was convincing. The notes were light; nothing heavy, with a slight stress on the notion of the coming-of-age and independence in the household. Some of the rhyming didn't tickle my fancy, but you guys insist on rhymin' so whatever (lol). A decent submission which could very well be turned into a customized holiday card with a little tweaking.
My vote goes to Ullr for a poem that felt more complete.
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