Clash of styles imo, upon reading dearg's a second time this was a dope match up! I like the challenge of reading dearg's verse I have to say. I don’t mind flow being sacrificed for storytelling. Although It was dragged out abit in my opinion but was still technically proficient in a rhyming sense.
This part stood out for some reason, I think it just contained everything I like, metaphors, imagery, poetic wording etc.
“There's layers to her scars, each showing a sign of good in an evil demeanor,
sharp like alligators and sharks with glowing eyes that make people believe her.
If she could escape then she could find a way to finally save this precious planet,
in ball and chain, she can't ever change it's spiraling fate from restless damage”
The ending.. It lacked depth and was a bit crazy imo, but it is a fantasy realm you’ve created, so I accepted it for what it was. I like how the quote was fitted in though. A very sweet phrase expressed before the horror of being swallowed lol. A very good verse here.
Witty brought what I expected to the table, I think we had the same objective in mind in our approaches this week, switching the attention of the reader so the outcome is a surprise. It worked on me anyway, I loved the ending, wasn’t sure where it was going up until that point. But it carried me throughout and I stuck by it. The writing was smooth in the first third of the verse but it went off abit after that and felt like you rushed through it, sacrificing scheming for content. Its almost as if you knew how you was gonna portray the ending and was too excited to get to there. With more dedication, this could have been an excellent piece. With that being said, it was more direct, condensed, showed more artistry imo in its approach overall. Im voting Witty for this reason
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