ullr - your piece was pretty dope but your hero needed a bit of a background, or perhaps.. more clarity. what he was about, his ideals, some kind of controversy or action. i felt like you were talking about a chill ass dude.. but your assertions weren't inflammatory enough for me to truly get upset about his trials and tribulations. truth be told, you're playing more off emotion than some kind of story line and where i did feel the tone you were trying to set, which you pulled off well... i didn't really pick up on any solid story/theme I can give you the nod for.
frank - well. i think these were my favorite lines..
he sneered and he revved
His engine, which roared with twin turbo Methanol fuel - domineering finesse
i enjoyed the delayed assonance and this point was pivotal in transition, cleanly executed. you jumped around with syllable count afterward, and it had an excellent effect on your flow. sick ass piece, bro. truth be told, i think your body was a little bit stronger than your conclusion. take it how you will, i'm probably right. but i am not one to doubt artistic allowance, and in the end..
/mvgt frank. i enjoyed his presentation more. his piece, overall, was stronger in my opinion.
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