MR J
Looney ending, almost like a retarded eureka moment LOL Your Verse had a good focused lenses behind it but it got a little shaky 3/4th of the way through, before steadying again. ADD free verse son LOL, I could tell you wrote this with a net flick free concentration, but turned on the netflicks 3/4th of the way through LOL. Clarity is improving though. Thanks for the read.
Spoken
One of your primary strengths is your use of emotion. One of your primary weaknesses is spelling. This creates an effective unison, though. It's almost like you are writing on pure emotion while bypassing all the technical aspects of it. You have a brash way of wording things, though. It is a distinct attribute you have, though. A lot of your writing is vulnerable subject matter, with ties to family. It always has your own personal touch that is inherently your own. I think you are on the brink of a classic emotional tale, you just haven't quite accomplished that yet.
MVGT Mr. J
__________________
VETWORK
|