MMLP, when I first read the ending I hated the verse lol. It was very bold to write an allegory about something that may fly over the head of the majority of people here. Upon the reread I appreciate all the connections you made though. I don't know enough about the organizations to put every piece in place but up until the last line I thought I was reading an average verse about the universe and that twist and new perspective upon the reread was nice.
YDK, eek, brief verse that read to prove that lack of forethought invested. There were some nice oneliners, my fav line was 'I almost wish I were them to survive with this hurt'. As a whole though, you didn't build on enough for this to really impact me in the way that MMLP's take on the topic did. You were well on your way, just needed a bit more time and thought.
+1 MMLP
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